chris vs. the arctic

chris: 72 // the arctic: 47

More, Please!

I have something to admit... I've just got to get this out before it eats me away... I'm a dealer. Yes, I'm a pusher, a peddler, a supplier. I have 30, maybe 50, people seeking me out everyday for their daily dose of my drug. They crave it. I can see the desperation in their eyes. They'll struggle for it, and I like it.

What are these people addicted to? What could they possibly want so badly?

Stickers. They want my fantastic, amazing, collectible, tradable stickers.

You see, I give my students point cards at the beginning of every term. If they manage to collect 21 points from me, by either speaking to me after class or volunteering in class, they can get a prize. Usually the prize consists of a small certificate and a lame Canadiana gift. They don't care about the pure cheesiness of it. This is Japan. They live on cheese (although, ironically, you'd be hard-pressed to find decent real cheese in this country). My stickers are premium quality goodness and everyone wants them.

Stickers

The frenzy has gotten out of control. Students wait for me outside of other classes to sputter out their English. They follow me to the bathroom, talk to me when I'm eating lunch, and even wait for me by my bike after school. I've had enough of it. I love my students and their unlimited energy and willingness to learn English, but it's got to stop!

Just the other day, I was walking down the hallway dreaming of the coffee on my desk. Not three seconds after I had left the classroom, I was surrounded by students yelling, "Chris! Chris! What colour do you like? What kind of animal do you like?" and "I like chahan! I like blue! I came to school by bike!" I had just ten minutes to drink my much-needed coffee and get to my next class, so this situation wouldn't do. Instead of being patient and willing to answer the same question for the hundredth time from the same student, I stuck my hand into my pocket, grabbed a big wad of little square stickers, and threw them into the air!! As the kids scrambled frantically to collect the precious pieces of paper, I literally dashed down the hall for the staff room! My coffee never tasted so good.

My replacement had better get into sticker dealing right away, or he'll be facing 650 addicts going cold turkey. Not a pretty sight.
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On June 22, 2006, Blogger mystery meat said:

to be fair chris, your stickers are pretty cool. i want the domo-kun one. where do you get these stickers from? you better tell me, otherwise i might have to attack you like your students, haha.    



On June 22, 2006, Blogger Chris said:

I make them myself! I use Keynote (like PowerPoint), sticker paper, and a colour laser printer (at work). Then I cut them out. It's a lot of work, but they love it!    



On June 23, 2006, Blogger ambamarie said:

your stickers are sexy! i wish i had stolen the idea sooner. now it's too late!    



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